i can never write enough

So I got the job at the coffee house! I'm going in tomorrow at 10:00 for training. I am really, really hoping this means I can quit my current torture, er, I mean job. I just finished up 107 orders, and have 116 left. I just can't force myself to do this anymore. I'd rather gag myself. Sorry. I've never done anything in my life before that has made me this miserable. I don't get to do anything in the evenings anymore, because I'm often working right until 7-7:30. Then I have to go into town, and, at 8:00 at night, it's dark outside and there isn't anything to do.

I think back to when John and I first started dating. Especially when he was in his dorm room. He didn't have a TV, so we would play computer games and go for walks and other things. I just wish we could have those innocent days back again. I hate how we both have to work our days away. Being 19 years old seems just like yesterday to me. Sometimes I'll sit and wonder what I did in between then and now and the answer is clear: Work and worry about things.

I just hope the rest of my life isn't like this! It seems as if I have been on a time flies/getting old/work sucks fetish for the last couple weeks, and it's so true. I wanted this entry to be happy, and it's not sad or I'm not devistated or anything because I think I'm just so used to feeling these ways, it doesn't even phase me anymore.

In an hour we are closing. OOOPS! Did I say closing? I meant to say "SUPPOSED TO BE CLOSING" but of course we are NOT. NOW it's scheduled for Monday...or HOPED to be on Monday, in the words of another person. IT JUST BETTER BE. I have a feeling that the suspence of buying the house and knowing of all this trouble it will get us out of is the main thing weighing me down....it really isn't worry, it's the suspence of relief. I need that. Part of me just wants to get away this weekend. I want to go and see my parents, but now I have a REAL JOB to go to (IN A real building, other than my HOUSE!). On Sunday, we're going down to Iowa to spend time with John's sister and her family. I'm excited to see the cute little kids and THEIR new house but part of me is tired of being dragged around everywhere.

I just want a taste of my old life again.