Look to the Sky

I've been back at home since Tuesday night. I miss being around people already! Yesterday was fun. I actually liked the silence and having the opportunity to do as I pleased. But now the reality is setting in. John has a show tonight, but I don't want him to go. I know he'll only be gone for two hours or so, but I just hate being cooped up inside the house. Maybe while he's gone I could bundle up and go for a walk in the dark.

Most of my ideas have come to me that way. My high school Mondays were spent in jazz band and orchestra, both of which took place in a town unfamiliar to me. I would spend the time in between walking around the foreign streets, talking aloud and coming to conclusions about things. Sometimes they would be simple things, like talking about how to confront that cute trumpet player at orchestra later that night. Other times, I would figure out what to write a paper on for English. I even talked about college and where I might go. There was just something about the darkness and the mystery and the stars. Those things would make my heart open up and take it all in.

Lately, I think I have been placing my happiness on what I do with others rather than what I do for myself...