So I Had Some Extra Time

Here are some pictures from December/January.

Being strange.


Hair experiment.


We like licorice here.


At the computer.


Just one day.


Don't forget about me.


I finally got to take a bath at 9:00 PM! I decided to take a nice relaxing bath instead of a shower. I got the water really hot and put in some spa moisture bead stuff in the scent of summer orchards (or something to that effect). After, I was ready to pass out from the heat and intense relaxation, but now I'm doing ok. John's delivering 8 dozen eggs to his folks (at 10 PM hahaha). When we get back we're going to team-work the dishes and drink orange juice and maybe have some green ice cream. Don't know about the ice cream...I'm sort of tired and don't like eating right before bed. It will be interesting to see if my hair is even dry by then. :)

Trickle Away

I hate it when I'm right. Damn you, water softener. I love you, but I hate the times you pick to run. I really want to shower!

And This is How it Will Be

I think there's a dead mouse somewhere upstairs. So I refuse to shower up there. I thought I would wait until John came home for lunch at noon. I called him to let him know that I thought there was a mouse up there. He told me he wouldn't be home until 1:00, so I should just take a shower and light some incense (it's kind of stinky). GROSS! But I refuse to shower until that dead thing is gone (there just has to be one up there!) So it's 1:30 now. No John. No shower. I see it as John will be home until after 2:00, when Starting Over is on. That gets over at 3. By then, John will have taken the dead mouse out of the house and I will be able to shower.

But that's when the WATER softener will begin its cycle and even then showering will be out of the question because the water will be hard and brown and gross.

And during the time spent writing this, John has gotten home and has indeed found a dead mouse and now is time to be sickened because he says it is rotting and is making HIM SICK.

GROSS....living in the country really sucks ass sometimes.

It is good to know that the man has offered us more than we had planned on asking for our house and that we will be more than likely moving in a short amount of time.

Nasty ass mouse. Thanks for saving me, John. I am thoroughly disgusted, but as always, you do the difficult things for us, and that's one reason why I feel so lucky and happy to be yours.

Clean so You May Live

I'm not looking forward to today. I have to clean the WHOLE house! I like to clean, but it just seems like such an overwhelming task. I have to do it because tomorrow at 8 a.m. a guy is coming to loook at our house. He might possibly buy it! We haven't advertised the idea, but this man knows about all of our dreams to fix the house up, but how we just can't possibly manage it anytime soon. It turns out that's just what he does: buys houses just to fix them up and re-sell. He thinks by buying our house he would save us a lot of stress and worry (and money). And I agree. So I have to make this place look as nice as it can. There is one-half of the upstairs that we completely ignore because it's been that way [ignored] for decades (and it shows). So we've been stashing all of our cleaning/working supplies in one room. It's a cluttered mess. Not to mention it's never been vacuumed and there are tons of dead lady-bugs all over the floor and windows. Eww. Out of sight, out of mind, I am guessing. It sure can't look like that tomorrow. Usually when we show our friends and family our house, we just refer to that room as "Work Central." Ha. But I would feel pretty embarassed. The room looks bad enough WITHOUT a mess, so cleaning up the mess would make a big difference. That room, in realily, is the one that made me die for this house.

It's huge. There are 4 windows and a gigantic walk-in closet. I just pictured it all fixed up someday, the sun gleaming in from every angle. I pictured making it look as it did over 100-years ago.

If the guy wants to buy our house, I will be sad. This is a friendly house. For being 102 years old, I expected some strangeness, like ghosts and eerie feelings. None. It's completely still and warm and cozy. I'm afraid if we moved, our house would have strange feelings and would not want us there. This house adores us. I can feel it. Each time we make an improvement, the house stands taller with pride. I know it sounds silly, but it's true.

When I took the carpeting out downstairs and scrubbed the hardwood floors, I could feel the house beaming as if it was receiving a back rub or something. Like it was so happy that someone was exposing it's original, true beauty, which had hidden by artificial crap for so long.

But then I know what this guy wants to do: fix up our house. I know the house deserves it. Any other bloke would just knock it down and build some other sort of structure. Poor house. With the right care, I'm sure it could live for another one hundred years or more.

Tomorrow shall be interesting.


Above: Our house in the distance.

Look to the Sky

I've been back at home since Tuesday night. I miss being around people already! Yesterday was fun. I actually liked the silence and having the opportunity to do as I pleased. But now the reality is setting in. John has a show tonight, but I don't want him to go. I know he'll only be gone for two hours or so, but I just hate being cooped up inside the house. Maybe while he's gone I could bundle up and go for a walk in the dark.

Most of my ideas have come to me that way. My high school Mondays were spent in jazz band and orchestra, both of which took place in a town unfamiliar to me. I would spend the time in between walking around the foreign streets, talking aloud and coming to conclusions about things. Sometimes they would be simple things, like talking about how to confront that cute trumpet player at orchestra later that night. Other times, I would figure out what to write a paper on for English. I even talked about college and where I might go. There was just something about the darkness and the mystery and the stars. Those things would make my heart open up and take it all in.

Lately, I think I have been placing my happiness on what I do with others rather than what I do for myself...

Fox in Sox

It is 11:05, and I think I am tired. But I would like for it to be summer. I would like to be laying outside, bare footed, soles just a little dirty, the breeze blowing through my toes and hair. Or I would like for it to be winter. I would love it if I had a big bath tub and was able to take a candle-lit bath and submerge and then come out and snuggle by a fire and fall asleep in his arms. Or it would also be nice to be any season at all, but to have an osculating fan blow on me as I lay atop the covers. Any type of sleep would be nice. Yet as some say, "but it's good to have options."

The U.P. rocks my socks. The people here are cute and happy in their own little ways. I feel calm and happy to be who I am. Goodnight.

Love is Power

It is bed time for me, little one. You are playing away the night, at an open mic performance. You will return home, alone, in the midnight blue darkness. The stars will twinkle overhead the frozen earth and the naked branches of our ancient cedars. Yet the same moon will dance its light into the windows of both of our bedrooms, bedrooms miles -- states apart. And like that moon, that midnight blue sky, and those twinkling stars, our love will forever connect us, no matter how far the distance.

Sleep well, little one.

Reminders are Everywhere

I saw the tabasco in the grocery store, and it made me think of you. I am glad you are okay.

Where Is John?

I'm really worried right now. I'm in Michigan, by myself. Well, I mean without John. It's 10:30pm. I had sent him an email and called him to tell him about it, so maybe he could check it before he went to bed. So I called and there wasn't any answer. I figured maybe he went to bed or something.

So I apologized, but I just called again, and there was NO ANSWER! What if he went out or something...or what if he fell down the stairs or had a heart attack or what if he's dead...or what if he's out having coffee late at night listening to a band? I'M SO WORRIED. How can I sleep not knowing where he is or if he's ok?

I'm just about to cry. I hate being apart! I hate even thinking about things like this, but what if he's out with someone else!? I know he wouldn't be. Trust. Yes trust. he would be very sad if he heard me say such a thing.

But what if he's hurt? Or dead or something? I'm SO WORRIED. I'm going to try once more and then try to sleep...hopefully I will hear from him in the morning.

:(

Just Some Stuff

I'm going to Michigan tomorrow morning! I'm not looking forward to the drive, really. So to make it more interesting I'm going to take pictures at all of the places I stop at. There will probably be only 3 or 4 because I really try to get there as quickly as I can. I'm looking forward to listening to music in the car. I know for sure I'm going to bring the Meat Puppets. We have their 2nd album (from 1983), so I want to play it for my mom. Hehehe...She graduated from high school in 1978, so I am interested in hearing what she thinks. I know my dad won't like it. Last time I was there by myself (in October), I brought PedroTheLion with me. I was playing it while helping my mom with dishes. My dad was sitting on the recliner with his eyes closed. He got up and said, "MEL...why do you listen to this? It's making me sad." I thought, "aha...so emo music MUST work!" Then my dad said I should play it at my Halloween party because it was so bad it was scary. HA. HA. :S So I'm sure he probably won't like the Meat Puppets. But I may be suprised. He might like it and my mom might not. For instance, I was very suprised when my dad LOVED the band Morphine. (fyi...my dad is a retired police officer). One night, my dad had the truck running while waiting for me to get out of the house and into the truck. When I jumped into his truck, he was blasting Morphine.

Two Commoners

I haven't been taking a lot of pictures lately (mostly because I don't get out a whole bunch), so I leafed through some older digital picture disks and found these two humorous pictures.

Here are a couple pictures from the summer of 2004. One is me, and one is my parents' cat, Tippy. Bandanas are for everyone.

Me:



Tippy:



Today started off to be a pretty good day. I kept my internet usage to a minimum and did my cardio soul workout. I showered and had a fun time trying on old clothes I used to wear to work while blasting the live in New York album by Nirvana/Meat Puppets. I can't help it! Lake of Fire is just one of those songs that can not be NOT sung along to. It's so much fun! That really is a great song. Anyway, the day kind of lost itself after lunch when I watched TV. Then I came back to the computer for no apparent reason. So I shut it off and watched the rest of the Maury show and some of Fear Factor. Then John come home, and we brought the red car to the auto body shop for an oil change. We made dinner and then watched 2 hours of TV. John is playing football on the Xbox. TV is starting to make me ill. I really do need better things to do.

Left Over Night

Well, luckily John wasn't mad at me for not having dinner ready. Maybe a little disappointed, but not mad. We couldn't really decide what to make, so we opted toward our left-overs from other nights. This reminded us of a crazy left-over-night we had several years(!) ago when we lived in our apartment: soup (thick enough to be scraped onto a plate), baked beans, scrambled eggs, and spaghetti with garlic, herbs, and oil.

Here's a photo from that day in 2002...and when John was allowed to have a beard :)

Cold Coffee

I'm such a dork. I just spent anywhere around 30 minutes doing survey, publishing it, and then deciding that I didn't like it here in my blog afterall.

Sorry Time, for wasting you.

Sorry John, for not having dinner ready for you as you had requested.

I hope the both of you will not be too mad at me.

For Us

You know that grandpa I spoke of who used to work in the flower business? Well, today, Valentine's Day, is his birthday. I think that's very cute, too.

So, Grandpa, the time I spent today working at the flower shop, is dedicated to you. (even though it was very stressful and not too much fun). I'm not sure if you even liked flowers or if you just did it because you needed to make money for your family some how. Even though I've never met you, at least now we have done something very similar that no one else in our family has done (that I know of). So that will be for us, Grandpa. Happy Valentine's Day (I know you were a sucker for Valentine's Day because I saw all of those shiny red heart-shaped chocolate boxes in Gram's upstairs - she had piles of them...she saved them all). Happy birthday, too. Today I feel very close to you, and now as I leave this computer, I will go over and look at the only picture I have of you.

Things Unknown

I can't believe it's Sunday already. Where does the time go? Happily, my total time of working at the flower shop is 1/2 over. I worked Friday and Saturday, and will be leaving in about 30 mins. to work today. It's very odd, I might say. Perhaps the only thing keeping me going and semi-enthusiastic about it is that I found out some new information on Friday while talking to my mom on the telephone. She said that Dad had told her that his dad used to work in a greenhouse growing flowers for flower shops. I thought that was the CUTUST thing I've ever heard! I never met my grandpa, but it makes me very proud to hear stories about him. Especially one time, my dad told me how his dad never let them have a dog when they were growing up. But one day his dad came home with a little puppy tucked underneath his jacket. I seldom hear stories from my dad's childhood; I know maybe 3 or 4. :( So I am very happy to hear these things; family trees and histories and roots mean more to me than where I myself am headed in life.

Dog watching is going ok, too, I guess. I don't know if we'll ever do it again because the little dog is VERY yippy and is driving Sammie nuts. She broke her chain during the night and ran around like a mad-dog and cut her nose.

Lastly, on Friday, some guy came up to John and basically offered to buy our house. (We haven't advertised or anything!) So we're going to talk about it today and then set up a time to meet with him and see what he has to offer.

Words around me

Lake of Fire.
Mid Winter Blowout
Smoke.
Pray Together.
RadioShack.
New America.
World's Greatest Musician.
Mad Chi H
I (heart) my co-op.
Sherlock Holmes.
When Technology Fails.
My name is Melissa Sue.
Melissa is banned from the computer.
--and other animals, too!

Not that it matters, but...

Ah, who the hell cares! I just typed an entry whining about some shit that doesn't even matter. So the "who the hell cares" part is mostly directed to myself. I shouldn't care!

This is mine:

ps: I was whining about how I trimmed my bangs and how John made a comment about them that made me feel sad.

Cookie Heaven

I'm baking a new kind of cookie right now. They are called Mother's Cookies, and I have no idea why. Perhaps someone's mother made them. I don't know. All I know is they smell really really good. They contain oatmeal, coconut, chocolate chips, and rice crispies (besides the usual stuff for making a dough - flour, salt, sugar(s), baking powder and soda, egg, etc.) MMM...I saw rice crispies on the ingredients list, and I just couldn't help but make them.

Tonight we're having left over corn chowder. I think I'm also going to make some scalloped potatoes. I have never ever made scalloped potatoes before, but I've been craving them for the last year or so.

I'd say it's time.

I love cooking. I love baking. And I love new recipes. Maybe John's right...maybe we should open a bakery/coffee shop.

It had to end sometime...

I am very sad to report that last night John and I watched the very last episode from our "Saved by the Bell" DVDs.

Floated

Pretty soon I get to leave to pick up John so that we can go to a new city where I will take a typing test and view a power-point presentation on how to become an independant-work-at-home-contractor. I don't really want to work at home, but there aren't any other options. This makes me feel like such a loser! I know everyone dreams about working at home, but I've wasted 6 months sitting here feeling sorry for myself, by myself, and I'm just afraid this won't help any. Simply because it's nothing like what I've envisioned for my life. I'm afraid it will make me feel even more depressed.

"Quit whining," I am told. "Do you think anyone is doing what they've envisioned for themselves?"

Probably! Some people ARE! And I always thought I was strong enough and smart enough to be one of them.

Choices

Why don't they make adult hygene products with as much care and sensitivity as they do products for babies? Case number one:

I was at my parents' house over Christmas. My feet were extremely dried out, so my mom offered me some Lubriderm lotion. The bottle clearly said: for sensitive skin. So I put some on, and it felt really good and softened up my feet a bit. My arms were itching later that night, so my mom put some lubriderm on my arms. Bad idea. I got a bumpy red rash all over my arms. I had to wash off the lotion. Fortunately, the rash went away about 15 minutes after I washed my arms.

Resolution number one: I bought Johnson & Johnson nightime baby lotion because it was enriched with senstive lavendar and aloe vera, perfect to rub all over baby before sleepy time. I can put it on my arms and feet and legs and I don't break out at all!!

Case number two:

I get these cute little clothing catelogs that sometimes advertise facial soap. I had like two half-empty bottles of face soap at home, and, since we're on a tight budget, I thought I should finish off those before buying this NEW citrus morning burst stuff. It took me about three months to finish those others off, and I was extremely happy to bring the new stuff home. Not even a week later, it was easy to discover that it didn't even work! It made my face extremely oily.

Resolution number two: Purchased Johnson & Johnson baby dry/itchy skin bubble bath. Instead of using it in the bathtub, I just dabbed some on washcloth in the shower. Not only did it smell soooo nice, but my skin was extremely smooth, not dry, but not oily.

Conclusion: perhaps the reason adults have so many problems is because #1: after they weren't babies anymore, it wasn't normal to use baby products anymore. So, #2, the beauty corporations know adults have many more options than babies do, so if something doesn't work for them, they can keep on trying different crap until they find the one that "works." Ahh, I don't know. All I can say is I might just buy baby stuff from now on.

Give it a try

I have tried several new things in the last 24 hours:

1. I tried a new movie called "White Noise." It was extremely scary. I liked it a lot because #1, there were only two other couples in the theater other than John and I, and #2, its content lead to a great conversation on the drive home: ghosts and spirits and any experiences with them.

2. I tried to re-arrange the living room. I got quite the workout doing it because I had to move the couch, the TV, area rugs, the guitar amp (mucho heavy by the way), plus all of the little things like remote controls, DVD player, Dreamcast, Xbox, games, movies, magazine rack, etc. And that was only ONE HALF of the living room. I got it all moved out of the way so I could start moving the stuff back to their NEW places. But it didn't work! So I had to move everything back to how it was in the first place. John wasn't around to help; he was at the garbage dump with his dad.

3. I also tried the two excersise DVDs we bought the other night (for $1.00 each, might I add...) entitled "Cardio Soul" and "Ab Lab." I think they might actually count for some excersise!

Marvelous Quote

I am very giddy about a quote I heard today: "The only way to get what you want is to let go of what you don't want."

I wonder what happened to Scott??

If spirits are ever down, try listening to ska music. That's what I'm doing right now. No wonder I was always so happy and goofy in high school! I was a ska-punk freak! (especially 10th grade!) My personal favorite ska band was and is and always will be: FiveIronFrenzy. Even though I am not into ska as much as back then, every now and again, the fever will strike. When it does, I feel light and youthful.

I remember this one guy named Scott. I was 15 or 16. He played in the orchestra I was in and was several years older than me (a real live college student!). He was tall and skinny and had brown hair and big black plastic glasses. He was one of the first guys to ever come up and talk to me. :) He talked to me about ska. It was one of the first times I ever felt "cool." Isn't it funny how in high school, everyone always tried to be "cool." HAHA

But Scott would always wave at me both in and outside of orchestra rehearsal. (keep in mind he was a COLLEGE student!) Even though he only talked to me that one time, he still waved at me. He wasn't in orchestra for very long, but sometimes I'd see him outside riding around on his huge skateboard/scooter (with ski poles), not caring about how he had looked.

Why?

Because he listened to SKA! And ska makes a person happy!

Point proven.

I wonder what ever happened to Scott. I wonder what he would think about me remembering all of this! I don't even know what I think about myself remembering this! AHH! A memory like an elephant I tell ya...

conversational hearts

Free to Fly High

I've had some time to think about things. I actually feel free. Perhaps knowing of rejection is better than waiting and wallowing in the envisionment of acceptance. Closure.

MinnesotaPublicRadio

So there's this new radio station called MPR "The Current." I have NEVER EVER been a radio girl. The Current plays pretty good music...like Rilo Kiley, The Shins, Bright Eyes, The Ramones, and The Clash...for example. There are also a lot of bands/singers I DO NOT recognize, but I really like listening to them. It's been a nice way to change things up around here. Like today, I finally heard a song by Interpol! And I didn't even have to leave the house!