Oh yeah

One last thing, here's a picture of John I had snapped earlier today. We both thought it was an awesome picture, and should go on John's solo album (the one he'll have someday). :)



Sammie wanted in on the action, too. She wants to be a famous model, ya know. I told her that I didn't think this one would get her very far in the business.

car pictures

We just got back from our new house. We dropped off a good dozen boxes of our belongings. It was a nice feeling! It would be a good thing if we did the same thing each night this week. Less to do in the end.

So! Here are some pictures of our new car!



I was wrong about the milliage - it's actually 52,000 some odd miles. Even better. :)



I would write more, but our frozen pizza is done cooking. It's late enough (in dinner time hours), so I will write more tomorrow.

keeping my fingers crossed

The interview went well (I hope)! They said they should know by the end of the week and might hire for two positions. I think I said all the right things, and most of the good things I had been working up in my head the last couple of days, I got to use.

Like...

In high school, I knew I wanted to study music, so I mostly concentrated on that. But I really liked chemistry and ecology, and if I hadn't been so set on music, those were a close second.

And...

Am I planning on going back to school some day? Well, last time I interviewed, so and so had mentioned that she sees a lot of people going into the lab and discovering they really like what they do, which, in turn, they decide to go back to school part time to study food science, ect., so hopefully that might be something that could happen for me.

Oh, and also...

Lately I haven't been very happy with what I've been doing. I just never pictured myself working PT at a coffee shop, and, if I were to get this job, I would feel that I had something to work hard at and be dedicated to once again. It's a very important job, and that would drive me to work very hard in addition to feeling good about what I was doing.

Of course all of these things are true! All of us know that.

They said I seemed very smart, and that was a very nice compliment. :-) It's nice to know that people you've just met can pick up on stuff you yourself can't even sometimes acknowledge.

The subaru is so cool and fun to drive. Last night I drove John and I to a boat landing on the river, and it felt very commericially to be driving down a dirt hill to a landing....near the river. I will take pictures later on, for John has the Subaru right now. He officially started HIS new job. I feel kinda guilty because I have so many secrets from my parents.....John's new job, me quitting my data entry job, and now the new car! I just know they would be very nervous and upset if they knew these major details.

We talked to Dave, and it sounds like he is in a hurry for us to move out (I don't blame him, I want to move out, too!) So John and I will probably be very busy this week. They didn't get Sammie's fence done yet, but Dave said he'd flip the bill for a 6 ft kennel (for temporary purposes), so yeah, he must really want us to move! :) I bet he's just itching to get inside the house to work.

new car

John and I just bought a 2001 Subaru Forester, blue, with 58,000 miles. We rock.

I think. The car is cool! I'm not so sure about the payments. But it's worth it, and was needed. No more trying to come up with explanations.

I'm going out for an evening drive. Interview tomorrow. Nervous! Hoping that I'll get it. No--I will get it.

memorial day

PMS makes me evil, and, a couple weeks ago I wrote a mean post about my parents. I would like to retract everything I said about them. They are the most caring people in the world, and my heart beats as it does because of them, both in the sense of being alive as I am, and in the sense of who I have become. I do not know what I would do without my wonderful parents. I wouldn't want to trade them for any other set, and, if someone didn't like their own parents, I would be first in line to recommend mine. I wish I could see them both right now and let them know how much I miss them and how every day I remember something little from my childhood that brings a smile to my face and allows me to move forward each day, with hopes of more good times like those.

My grandma took my parents out to the cemetary yesterday and showed them the graves of our ancestors. No one realized this, but her mother and father, grandparents, and other relatives are burried there, far back as names are different. She said she wants to take ME there someday. She knows where my heart is. I don't like to think about people passing away, but I really do hope that I am the one to inherit my grandma's photo albums. We wouldn't be here today, if it wasn't for those photographs of black and white.

Today, I am thankful for everyone who is blood, and for those who I do not get to see today, both dead and alive.

I'm bored, So I write

Today turned out to be quite the odd day, in fact. Both of us (John and I) had the day off, so, we drove the car into town at 10:30 for its scheduled oil change, then ran off to the library for some time. We did some research on Car Soup for some suburu foresters, then carried ourselves over to the Diner for breakfast/lunch. I had buttermilk pancakes, John an omelett and onion rings, which ended up being shared by the two of us (the rings, that is).

Then it was walking back to get the car from the shop. The mechanic teased John about slashing the tires; John teased the mechanic about not working hard enough, or something. Then we shared a coke (the mechanic and I......just kidding......who else?) :)

We were going to go over to the park to sit in the car and talk and stuff, but the SENIOR class of 2005 (haha) was having some picnic or something. SOOO we drove on this dirt road by the Catholic cemetary. The dialog was something like this

ME: Oh! Didn't you used to run down this hill?
HIM: Yes! And I used to have fantasies of sexy women jumping out of the trees and raping me.
ME: Speachless.

I have heard this running story a handful of times, but was never enlightened with the second half. It didn't take forever for the initial shock to wear off, and before long, we found ourselves at the store buying a birthday card for my grandma.

We came home and took a two hour nap, watched TV, and now I'm itching for something to do. There really aren't any good shows playing at the theaters. I should go running today, but I don't feel like it. It's a very odd mood. I feel like doing something, but then I don't feel like doing anything that's suggested.

Pictures for today:



My hair is getting weirder every day, but I like things weird, so I'm starting to like it.



John's eye.

no new glasses

I'm at the library right now! We got a call soon after I made my last post; our eye doctor's boat is broken, so we had to reschedule our appointments. No fair! We were bummed; I got a little crabby. But now the sun is out, and we looked at big, flat screen TVs for prices that soar into the $1,000's. We didn't buy one, of course, but it's fun to look.

Job Stuff

I've quit a job and gained an interview all in the past 2 days. And John is a hottie. We're going to town to buy stuff to make a pizza. And neither of us have work tomorrow, but we have eye appointments, and I'm going to get me some really funky spec's.

Good times and John is hott!

(And Bo should have won).

Today

1- watched the 7 o'clock news
2- ate breakfast (and NOT at the computer!)
3- did dishes and cleaned up the kitchen
4- took out the garbage and recycling.
5- made sun tea
6- sat down to enjoy a few moments of earned computer time. :)
7- went for a 30 minute run
8- had lunch with John! <3
9- finished data entry work at 4:30pm
10- ate lots of sprees
11- hugged John a lot
12- listened to music of which had gone unlistened to for many months:

• Greg Brown (Songs of Innocense/Songs of Experience)
• Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young (Deja Vu)
• Neil Young (Keep on Rockin in the Free World)

-- * -- * -- * -- * -- * -- * -- * -- * -- * -- * -- *
1- will pack up the yellow bedroom upstairs
2- eat lots of fruit, maybe make a smoothie
3- go to a town festival planning meeting tonight

butterflies

Just a quick little check-in over this wonderful weekend! It's been a really speedy one so far. Friday night, I spent alone 'cause John had band practice. They added a bass player. He had never played with the guys before, so they really needed to practice for their Saturday gig! I stayed home and packed up three boxes of stuff. It was fun. I'm going to try to be a lot more organized with the packing this time. :)

John DID get home around 11 (like he said!). We ended up going to bed because we were both really tired!

We got up early on Saturday and debated going to an auction. It was downpouring (the roof was even leaking again!). We put on our raingear and headed over to the co-op to buy chicken food and salt (exciting!) Haha. Then we went to the auction and stood and watched people bid on old beer pafarinalia (sp) HA! That's probably the worst I've ever murdered a word. Anyway, the REAL reason we were there is because they were auctioning a canoe. Unfortunately, we had to leave before they even got to the canoe. :(

John had a show at an arts fair at some library out of town, so off we went! I walked around with the new bass player's wife. She showed me the humane society's booth, and there they were: two persian kittens. Oh MY LORD! They were sososoososososo SOOOO cute! And loving! I wish we could have gotten them. The time isn't right for them yet. Someday soon. After the show, John and I shopped around.

I guess the real reason I'm posting is to brag about my new curtains I got yesterday, for the kitchen. They are butterfly curtains! They're white and see-through, but have little butterflies stitched onto them in sporratic places. They are so adorable. Ever since day 1, I said that kitchen was going to get butterfly curtains, and now it really does! I'm so excited to move in!

Dave was out here yesterday with his lawn mower friend. They mowed their (!) entire lawn. It was so odd to just sit around watching people mow our (?) lawn. But it's not ours anymore, but it feels like ours! So weird. I'll have to take a picture of that realty sign out by the driveway.

Now I have to take a shower because we're "doing lunch" with John's folks for John's dad's birthday. The events never end around here. Wouldn't you know it's an nice sunny day, and John has to go into the office. He says he has about 6 hours of work to do. I'm going to try to talk him out of it!

study hall

I'm kind of weird right now. As in feeling. John has band practice tonight. I don't like when it's on FRIDAYS, and I have to sit at home and be alone. It would be different if I had some friends who could come over, or something. But I don't. I would go along, but that would be boring and scary. When he gets home from work, I'm going to shut down the computer and try not to come on all night. I have to find things to do, even if I don't want to.

I wish adult band practices could have study halls, then he could stay home with me and stuff. Quite the switch when I wish for a band study hall. Of course, there really aren't any these days, so it's not that suprising. They are fake.

It's been done!

It finally happened! We closed! We no longer own this house anymore. We don't have a mortgage to pay until July 1st, and we just paid off all of our personal debts. We are debt free and ready to create a new life together. I don't even know how to feel. I mean, most of these things (for right now, anyway), are intangible, so I can't see the problems to begin with, let alone see them getting fixed. So, in the physical sense, everything still seems the same. But just wait! Next month, when we have CREDITS to our credit cards and no mortgage to pay and a new house to live in, I think I will be in shock and probably I don't know. Doing something crazy, in a good way! Like dancing and screaming and hopping and, well, everything I feel I should be doing now, instead of sitting at this computer!

True Love

My dad sent me this picture this morning. It's of two of their cats, Korbalou and Johar. I added the little beam of light, and poof = kitten love!

feeling bleu

I feel bad about a couple things right now:

The semi-mean post I wrote about Sammie-Pie - lately I haven't been the nicest person to be around. I don't even like being around myself! I know it's from all of the stress, so I go around knocking others to try to make up for how bad I feel about everything else. I didn't think it would stretch so far as being crabby to my pets, so I feel really badly about what I wrote. Sorry, Sammie! I love you!

Secondly, I'm feeling bad about the work I do. Or the lack of it....well....I know that I worked really hard doing my data entry, and, late last week after I started at the coffee shop, I called in to reduce my hours. Today I only got enough work to fill 1 1/2 hours of work! I think about John over at his office working hard and smelling like papers and ink and dusty books, and I just wish I could be out there working more, working the equivelant to what he's working. I know we don't have a lot of money, and I just don't feel that i have the right to be NOT working. I know I'm trying my hardest to get work and get hired and stuff, and John tells me a little is better than nothing, which is true.

Other than that, I got a call from John awhile ago, saying he had to call the mortgage company to get a pay-off quote sent to the lawyer who's doing our closing tomorrow. This is the closest we've ever come to actually closing, so now my heart is starting to beat a little faster with excitement! I can't even fathum what it's going to be like living over there....It will be so much better and ever so different. Just think...(interjection: this will be very ironic because some of the things I am about to list were many the things I had listed BEFORE we bought this house...funny how experience can sure make a person change perspectives...)...no more huge lawns to mow and let get out of control, no more chickens or refridgerators overflowing with eggs, no more stupid crows out of that retarded rooster's ass hole of a mouth, no more living out of town (we'll be able to walk and bike to stores and stuff!), living in a city where John and I have never ever lived before!, no more falling apart houses and abandoned dreams of repair, no more credit card bills(!), ahhh! I'm so excited. The list is hard to put into words, because most of my list is based on emotion...I can't even describe it.

Although, today, I'm left with the question: is a spare TV better in a bedroom, a basement, or a guest room? I'm almost think guest room, just in case guests come over and want to watch tv or something while they try to fall asleep. And we can hook up the Xbox to that spare tv, so if someone's listening to music or playing the piano or something, and the other person wants to play video games, they can just go into the guest room and play, both people undisturbed. Those are my thoughts, anyway. Only kids like to sit in basements and watch tv (to get rid of the adults), and only kids will be living in our house, so we won't have to go downstairs --- we can just watch TV in OUR living room.

And yes, I will always be a kid (even though I haven't felt like it much lately). But I can feel the change, and I just pray that we close tomorrow! The lawyer-place told John that we are all set for tomorrow!

Sammie

Today is yet another gloomy day in the neighborhood. The wind blows and dots of humidity spray against the old wooden porch. My dog refuses to listen, and I am just about sick of her misbehaving ways. I miss Abby so much. I think we were blessed with a perfect dog the first time around, and now, no other dog will ever be able to compare. Sometimes I think it was a mistake to get Sammie. Secretly in my heart, I resent her. I just can't love her in the same way as I did Abby. It probably was too soon. She was a little saviour, because we bought her the day before I lost my job at the investment place. I don't know of anything else that can cheer up a person quite like a puppy can. So in my sorrows, I would go outside and play with the 1/2 foot tall puppy and feel the warmth of the sun and forget about the firey needles in my heart on what was to come.

Now that Sammie is about a year old and doesn't listen and is stinky and isn't too bright, I just get so impatient with her. I have to remember that in her mind, she is in no way connected to Abby. It's tough sometimes.


Baby Sammie, August 2004

I only have a little bit of at-home work to do today. I should do something productive when I'm not working, such as dishes/laundry/clean the bedroom/bathroom.

Changes, Suggestions?

Does anyone have any ideas on how I could change this layout up? Like colors or pictures or anything really neato and fun?

Today work went well at the coffee shop. I worked from 11-4:15. I also did some data entry at home this morning, and I have MORE of that to do now. Work, work, work. :) It wasn't bad though. I love being on my feet and acting happy for the customers----it actually converts into true happiness after awhile.

Well, I really need to get some of this work done. It's the last thing I feel like doing right now, but oh well. They wanted me to work this Thursday at the coffee shop, but we are closing that afternoon (ha? ha? Ha!) That last 'ha' is hinting toward excitment...not sure if I should get my hopes up this time either. Hehehe. So the next day I work will be NEXT Tuesday. I guess that's why I should continue to do my data entry- I kind of sorta need that piddly income.

Hope everyone had good days.

absense

Today, I would like to avoid all forms of work as possible.

Rants

I really liked the stripes on the other layout, but I didn't like how when you got farther down the page, it was just white, with nothing happening. I am going to change this one up after while. I have a lot of data entry to do today. I have work at the coffee shop tomorrow. Yesterday I felt like quitting that job, and I still kind of do today. I know deep down I don't fit in as a coffee shop worker. I'm too quiet and introverted. I asked John, last night, what he thought a good job for a quiet person might be. (other than data entry at home). He said "being a mom."

ahhh yesterday with the kids, I told him I didn't even know if I wanted kids afterall, but then my mind was quickly changed because our kids would probably be shy and quiet like us. I think I could tolerate my own because, well, I think it would just be a completely different situation and mind set.

We got some freaky loan summary in the mail today that makes NO SENSE at all. It says our loan is for $150,000 (the house we are buying is $185,000), and it also states that we are putting $35,000 down as a down payment. Who said anything about that? Ahhhh...this is nothing but a big mess. We aren't closing until Thursday now. I have never in my life felt so messed up and stressed. I just want all of this to be over. I just want to fit in with myself. Lately, I think I've been pretending to do things and be things just so I can try to feel happy. In contrast, I've just been making myself less happy by doing that.

That's one of the reasons I want to quit the coffee shop. But something inside (people pleasing?) is forcing met to hang on because I only worked there for a day, and it's a small town. Everyone would hear about it, and, when we move there, I could never step foot inside, and I would walk alongside hushed whispers.

Sometimes I think my place in the world is being some sort of crazy recluse, far away from it all.

ahh, yesterday was such an f'd up day. I am so pissed at my parents, too. I usually just sit to the side and wait for them to come and visit me and nod my head and smile with they give the reasons for why they can't. It has been since fucking November that they've been here. They are now saying they won't visit until we are settled into our new house. So they obviously don't give a shit about where I live now. They will never see this place again, and they don't care. They don't care about seeing our new place, either. If MY son or daughter was buying a place, I would be there down in FLASH to check it out! This is just rediculous. Then they call here, my MOM I should say (my dad NEVER calls me), and when they get the answering machine she flips out and the next day I am grilled as to where I was and why the machine wasn't on, and it's just like if you're so concerned and want to talk to me, why the fuck don't you come to see me? My dad doesn't work anymore, and my mom has this job where she gets 5,670,893 hours of paid vacation a year. Oh but who will feed their damn cats? And fuel is so expensive (don't buy big honking diesel trucks then!). And when they DO come to visit, they leave home on a Friday and will leave here on a Monday morning. But this is about them NOT visiting. Even yesterday, at John's sister's house, she was like, "How's your ma and pa?" and I was like, "Umm, I don't know. They never really call me or visit me anymore. I think they've forgotten about me." Yesterday was a day I just wanted to fizzle away. Even John's newly turned 7 year old neice was all asking about me dying so SHE could marry John. Then John was pushing her on her bike, and she was like, "Why is MELISSA here?" It's like, I know she's only 7, but telling John he's sexy and how she's wanted to marry him all along, and telling me that I could divorce him and get re-married because she had seen this lady on Oprah who got married 4 times! I know she's just a little girl, but OH WAIT! She's just a little girl! I don't think I was comfortable with the word "sexy" until I was 16 or something. God. Oh, she was flashing John, too, and she wouldn't refuse to stop. She was like, "I want to give you something you'll really like......" John was covering his head and telling her to stop, and, I was just thinking....I don't know waht I was thinking. I guess how I just wanted to get out there and come home. Then I thought all about what home has been lately (nothing but stress), and I didn't even know if home was what I wanted. I think I just wanted to melt away and seep into the ground.

i can never write enough

So I got the job at the coffee house! I'm going in tomorrow at 10:00 for training. I am really, really hoping this means I can quit my current torture, er, I mean job. I just finished up 107 orders, and have 116 left. I just can't force myself to do this anymore. I'd rather gag myself. Sorry. I've never done anything in my life before that has made me this miserable. I don't get to do anything in the evenings anymore, because I'm often working right until 7-7:30. Then I have to go into town, and, at 8:00 at night, it's dark outside and there isn't anything to do.

I think back to when John and I first started dating. Especially when he was in his dorm room. He didn't have a TV, so we would play computer games and go for walks and other things. I just wish we could have those innocent days back again. I hate how we both have to work our days away. Being 19 years old seems just like yesterday to me. Sometimes I'll sit and wonder what I did in between then and now and the answer is clear: Work and worry about things.

I just hope the rest of my life isn't like this! It seems as if I have been on a time flies/getting old/work sucks fetish for the last couple weeks, and it's so true. I wanted this entry to be happy, and it's not sad or I'm not devistated or anything because I think I'm just so used to feeling these ways, it doesn't even phase me anymore.

In an hour we are closing. OOOPS! Did I say closing? I meant to say "SUPPOSED TO BE CLOSING" but of course we are NOT. NOW it's scheduled for Monday...or HOPED to be on Monday, in the words of another person. IT JUST BETTER BE. I have a feeling that the suspence of buying the house and knowing of all this trouble it will get us out of is the main thing weighing me down....it really isn't worry, it's the suspence of relief. I need that. Part of me just wants to get away this weekend. I want to go and see my parents, but now I have a REAL JOB to go to (IN A real building, other than my HOUSE!). On Sunday, we're going down to Iowa to spend time with John's sister and her family. I'm excited to see the cute little kids and THEIR new house but part of me is tired of being dragged around everywhere.

I just want a taste of my old life again.

fav songs so far

All of them.

Weezer is pure; Weezer is unbelievable.

=w= =w= =w= =w= =w= =w= =w= =w=

interview jitters

It is just beginning to hit me how nervous I am for this interview this morning. I think I am more nervous than the interview at the cheese factory. Something about coffee shops just make me really nervous in general. Especially this one; I guess cause it's so new and the ladies there really know their stuff. They already know John thru advertising.

I also have all this pressure to finish up my work by 5:00pm. We are supposed to be going over to John's parents' house for dinner. Usually I'm lucky if I finish my work by 7:00pm. We had to cancel twice already, and John's really pushing me to get this done. Yesterday I worked NON STOP for 7 1/2 hours. It was crazy. I'm still mentally recovering.

If I could have one thing right now it would to just be able to take John and a few things and just drive somewhere we've never been before and just spend some time AWAY from everything. We are talking about doing that after the closings on the houses. I guess that's supposed to happen tomorrow or Thursday. It had better. I just want to get this over with and start anew.

Nervous Nervous Nervous.

fav songs so far

My favorite songs off of the newest Weezer album:

**Perfect Situation** ((very pretty and very Pinkerton))
**This is Such a Pity**
**Hold Me**
**Haunt You Every Day**

Of course I love all of the songs. It's too early to say really, because I haven't listened to any words in their entireties. I think it's going to be a beautiful piece of work. It's amazing how different it really is from any other album. I think I love blue-pinkerton-green the best of all. This one will probably grow on me more and more. (I can NOT believe I got the blue album when I was 13 years old! That was TEN TEN TEN TEN! years ago!

Today John and I hung out at a different coffee shop. We hadn't been there in awhile. We actually splurged and got lunch there as well. Sitting in front of us were: a tall mocha, short americano, nantucket nectar orange juice, and two waters. I swear. That's A LOT of liquid. We were so stuffed on just liquids alone. Ha. Then we bought peanut butter, almonds, and almond butter from the food co-op. It's such a different batch of workers there now. It seems so forever since John and I worked there. In some ways, I wish it was still the same as it had been. I was 19 and 20 years old then. Crazy! Well, we're just taking it easy tonight. Another storm is blowing in.

It's super damp and our area rug is smelling funny (it's wool). I'm so happy about going to Pier 1 to buy a new area rug for our new house. They had huge light-weight ones there for $120 or around there. We bought this one for $250. I love it, but it just smells weird when the house gets damp, and the threads are always coming out and going all over clothes and stuff.

Random. Not much to say here right now. Always a lot of thoughts in my head though. Who ever said thoughts were meant to be said? How does one even differentiate (sp) or rate between the ones that should be said and those that should stay inside? It really isn't all that fair. I try my best, thoughts.

Last night was WRONG!

Last night was so cool! Many wrong things occured. ((Which was why it was SO cool and wrong and different!)) We ended up leaving home around 8:30. We were going to check out area rugs/curtains at Pier 1 imports, but by the time we got there, it was 8:59pm, and they were just closing. So, where did we go? To our favorite independantly-ownded kick ass music store! And guess what the owner ACCIDENTALLY did? Well, he put OUT ON THE SHELVES the ONE and the ONLY to-be-released-on-MAY-10th NEW FREAKIN' WEEZER ALBUM!!! I am a proud and RARE OWNER! Yeah! Kick ass! WEEEEEZER! THEN we went to this jazz club downtown to hear a jazzy-folky band, and John and I even got lit! OFF OF TWO DRINKS EACH! LOL! It was so funny. We are SUCH wimps. First, we both ordered COSMOPOLITANS because it said to do so in the Hipster handbook. I had never had one before. We ended up ordering French Fries because we were both feeling a little woosey and were cracking jokes about people who were coming in (it's a super small super cute place! After that, we got waters. By then I was feeling so dizzy. Hahahaha. (OFF of ONE drink!) So I ordered a lime vodka (in tribute to my mom; this used to be her fav. drink back in her drinking days, which were days of long LONG ago!). It actually made me feel a lot better. John got a bloody mary, which is his favorite. I guess now I REALLY can't joke and say I'm straight edge anymore. Hahaha. Oh well, it's like a ONCE in a BILLION kind of thing that I have drinks of those sorts. That was probably like my fourth LEGAL drink ever. Hehehee...and I'm twenty-three. :) New template, see? John's still sleeping, and I'm listening to the NEWEST WEEZER ALBUM! :) :) :) :) Oh, and I have a job interview at a coffee shop on Tuesday morning! I so hope I get it! It in the same town as where we will be living (closing is rumored to be THIS Wednesday now).

Beautiful Lyrics

Beautiful Lyrics by Stuart-Davis from "Swim":

The only reason that it's scary getting old
Is people treating you like you're to big to hold
And you still feel just like a kid

Call my bluff when I pretend that I'm at peace
Take the water that I finally release
Close your mouth.
Open your arms.

That is why I reach for you so much
I think I'm drowning until we touch
Life is an ocean that we fall in
When you hold me I can Swim

Once again, stolen from Julie!

Your Birthdate: November 13

Being born on the 13th day of the month should help make you a better manager and organizer, but it may also give you a tendency to dominate people a bit. You may be more responsible and self-disciplined than you realize. Sincere and honest, you are a serious, hard working individual. Your feelings are likely to seem somewhat repressed at times. You are apt to be much more practical, rational, and conscious of details. Your intolerance and insistence on complete accuracy can be irritating to some.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

i found that key to the locked treasures!

Today I created a near-perfect day for myself. :) Today I am officially giving up living in one constant moment of sadness. I am sick of watching the otherwise happy events pass by day after day, seconds of potential happiness that come just as quickly and quietly as they go.

It all began with an inspirational grocery shopping trip at 11:30pm last night. John and I bought so many raw foods, it wasn't even funny! It was never more exciting to eat this for lunch:

Whole wheat bread
fresh mushrooms
fresh roma tomato
mustard
avacado
onion
bean sprouts
radish sprouts
lettuce

and I think that's it! Then we drank this "green drink" which is filled with wheat grass, spinach, blue-green algae, spirulina, and fruits like applies, kiwi, mango, bananas, and dragon fruit! As soon as I took the first sip, I felt energy rush down the veins in my arms. It was INCREDIBLE! I swear, I sat down to watch TV, and I felt so energetic! It felt WRONG to just sit there on the couch (but I did anyways) :)

Another thing I'm going to change is all of the pressure I put on myself to do things. Like, running for example. I would come home and be so tired and sore and crabby. And for that, I'd get a sticker on the calendar. Well, today that changed. I haven't done my cardio soul video tape in over a month (like two months!). This morning, I did the 45 minute dance/stretch workout and felt wonderful! I worked up a sweat but felt SO flexible! I'm changing my calendar "reward" system to: anything I do that's possitive for myself. So, whether it be cardio soul, a run, or a walk, I will get a sticker!

Yes, Sir! I've discovered many secrets to self-fulfillment and happy days. Just go back to living SIMPLE! SIMPLE = HAPPY!

Here's a picture of myself kicking the last 6 months of moping and feeling sorry for myself right in the ASS!



Oh, and one other thing. Having happy days makes crappy hair cuts look just a tad bit longer, too! :)

Secrets...

Too Out-There

I never wore an ounce of "hunter orange" when living among the Yooper people of Upper Michigan. That all changed once I moved to Southern Minnesota...irony at its best.